When it comes to showing vulnerability, I’m not the best. It isn’t because I don’t like to put myself in vulnerable situations. It’s just that what I find intimate is often very different from what others find intimate.
Working toward this project has put me in situations in which I have to be vulnerable. I’m quite grateful that these people have all met my vulnerability with their own. After all, its that exchange of vulnerability that allows growth of relationships with other people.
Take my office as an example. This van life project is a huge undertaking, part of which is completely dependent on having a source of income. Approaching my boss to consider letting me work from home put me in an extremely vulnerable place, not just financially, but emotionally as well. I also find that explaining to people why I do the things that I do is particularly intimate. It requires a fair bit of vulnerability on my part.
Being some flavor of neurodivergent means that what goes on in my head doesn’t necessarily match others. When I need to explain the why it can be a journey. When my boss asked me why I was doing this, there was so much riding on my answer. My answer, it turns out, also required significant vulnerability.
To be able to say I want to be everywhere and there is life to be experienced and this feels like the universe is telling me “go!” takes courage. Its extremely easy to invalidate these feelings. Everything I said was genuine, though. I believe the willingness to be both vulnerable and genuine is what made the difference. At the end of the day, it is a calling. It seems to be the only thing the universe is actually allowing me to have. I can only assume I’m meant to find my place along the way.
The Takeaway
Whether its taking the plunge to start the van life yourself (and you, too, need to ask your boss to make some changes) or you’re just hoping to connect a little better to friends and loved ones, here’s my advice on how to be more vulnerable:
- Start small – sharing small ideas or values can help you identify if your vulnerability is going to be met or invalidated and prevents you from oversharing
- Honor yourself – share your version of you without apology
- Be genuine – being vulnerable is about sharing your feelings, so there is no reason to hide your fear or your excitement; others can often relate easier to your feelings about a situation than the situation itself
From needing to ask others for help, to learning new things, and meeting new people I have had my fair share of being vulnerable. I know that the road ahead is going to require even more vulnerability, but I’m ready to meet it head on!
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