Making the choice to live nomadically comes with all sorts of changes. The hardest part isn’t the build, or changing careers, or honestly even moving out of your house. The hardest part about living nomadically, hands down? Leaving friends and family.
I’ve grown a lot since I set out on this journey. My decision was largely in part due to feeling isolated and like I didn’t have a strong community behind me. It seems strange, to set out on a solo trip to find community, but that’s what I did. My friends and family were so spread out that it never really felt like I was moving away from them. If anything, it allowed me more freedom to be near them.
But my situation isn’t everyone’s. There’s plenty of people who live near a plethora of friends and around family and for their own personal reasons, decide to live nomadically. I’ve seen multiple people’s videos of them hitting the road in tears. That’s not to say they aren’t excited, but change is hard, even when its something you want.
While I’ve yet to hit the road permanently, I have grown so much as a person. I like to think its because of this journey, not in spite of it. One of the things I’d like to share with you is how I’ve started changing my perception of friendship.
For so long, I felt like all of my relationships were held together by mine own two hands. If I wasn’t carefully balancing them, they would crumble. Blame it on anxiety, autism, my childhood, being a people pleaser – who knows – but that has been my truth for decades. The friendships I’ve cultivated have been hard work and I like to think I’m rewarded by having a good group of ride-or-dies by my side.
What happens when you outgrow someone? That’s a question that has weighed on my mind for years. I don’t mean outgrow as in “that person is toxic and I’m trimming the toxicity from my life”. I mean outgrow as in “our lives are on different paths and we really don’t ever see each other, but I absolutely want the best for them”. It happens – that’s just the course of life – but I’ve never quite figured out at what point I should stop fighting to keep them in my life.
This is where the growth has come in: just accept it for what it is. The friendship that you shared was loving, beautiful, wonderful, and just what you needed at the time. You’re in a different season now, though. There’s no harm in loving your friend as they were but not feeling compelled to put in extra work. Yes, relationships take work. But there’s also a certain ease that should come from them. When you finally acknowledge that, there’s peace that comes with it.
Take that lesson with you while you’re taking the leap into living nomadically. Not everything will be the same forever, and that’s true of you, myself, and everyone. What may have been the most important friendship to you a few years ago, may not be right now, so love that for what it is and if your season changes again, maybe that relationship will find its way back. If not, it was still the most important friendship at the time and nothing can change that!
One last note – my friendships and relationships have only become stronger, if anything, through this journey. If you’re worried that your friends “won’t be there when you get back”, I promise it’ll all work out.
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